The alarm clock is a much-abused gadget. We silence it, ignore it and, on really bad mornings, hit it.

Poor alarm clock.

But, things are about to change. An alarm clock has been designed to get you leaping out of bed with a grin on your face. Hell, you might even look forward to being woken up.

What is it? It’s an alarm clock…you keep between your legs. The vibrating time device, named the Little Rooster, will wake you up in the morning with….well, I think you get the picture.

If you fancy adding the Little Rooster to your wish list (with added snorgasm® function apparently), it’ll cost £69.

Would you like to wake up to some good vibrations?

Writing for Dork Adore means you occasionally get some very, very strange emails pop up in your inbox.

Last week, I was sent the press release for an apple-shaped vibrator.

I’m assuming it was aimed at those who have yearnings for a Snow White moment. Or those that want an intimate toy that doubles as a kitsch mantelpiece ornament.

It’s not just eye-catching though. It offers seven speeds, which are controlled by the green stem on the top.

If you fancy getting fruity with the Rianne S Rechargeable 7 Speed Forbidden Fruit Intimate Massager, you can order it from LoveHoney…for £79.99

Halloween is a bit of a rubbish time for adults. You’re either left with the duty of creating a Halloween costume for your offspring, who are often bouncing off the wall from all the free sweets, or attending some awful themed party.

In an attempt to improve this day for the grown ups, LoveHoney has released a range of Halloween-themed vibrators called Death by Orgasm. Right.

In fairness, this Speed Scorpion (£12.99) on the right is pretty terrifying. Brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘don’t let the bed bugs bite’.

The scorpion is a rubber sleeve, encased around one of their speedy bullets. Other products from the range include four coloured bullets (silver for the Werewolf, gold for the Mummy, black for the Vampire and some kind of neon green for the Zombie) and a cock ring called the Fang Banger….

They all come in a miniature coffin with spare batteries, with prices ranging from £9.99 to £14.99. Which is a bit of a bargain considering the standard bullet alone is around £10, without batteries.

We see some pretty cool gadgets at Dork Adore, but very few of them are quite literally cool.

The Touché Ice Vibrating Bullet Massager (Sextoys.co.uk, £33.99) on the right is half ice, half bullet. It comes with a section that you fill with water, re-attach to the blue section on the bottom (also available in several other bright colours) and place in the freezer for a few hours.

Essentially, it’s a vibrating ice cube. It comes with a freezable flavoured lube too if you’d rather use that than water. The ridges on the base mean you can flip it over after the ice has all melted.

Now all you need to do is hope for a late summer.

There’s been a bit of a surge recently in the number of adult  toys aimed at couples. Even better, a lot of these dual products are actually quite pleasing for the eye. The Zini Deux Luxury Couples Massager Set on the right is an excellent example. It’s already won the Red Dot Design Award 2010, and it’s now winning points with us for its sleek style and extensive features.

The egg-shaped toy splits into two sections which are designed to fit men and women. Each half has five speeds and ten patterns, which makes it ideal for any couples new to the world of bedroom gadgets. If you’re not in the mood, it can always be used to massage away those tired gaming muscles after a long day!

Both parts are rechargeble, which makes the £139.99 pricetag (from LoveHoney) a little more acceptable.

We all know about the importance of staying safe during sex, but what about being ethical? Possibly not top of your list of priorities when you’re about to make sweet love, but stay with us.

The fair-trade and ethical sex toy market is a small but growing niche in an increasingly green society. One website that’s cottoned onto this is Birds & Bees, who offers a selection of ethical and pretty underwear, condoms and lubricants at affordable prices.

Fairtrade rubbers

These French Letter condoms on the right comes in a pretty package (not dissimilar to a posh soap brand) and they’re made from fairtrade and FSC certified rubber.

They’re also free of any animal-derived materials, so they’re suitable for the vegetarian or vegan in your life.

They’re not particularly cheap at £8.99 for 12, but surely that’s a price worth paying for peace of mind. You can get them from the Birds & Bees website.

The first thing you need to know about the Nexus Chloe is that it’s very, very stylish.

Everything from the black box, to the satin-feel pouch and the sleek design oozes a designer feel perfect for a first time sex toy owner, who I always thought would be intimidated by the usual array of pink, shiny rabbits (and other strange animals)

Discreet Vibrator

I’d even go as far as to say that the Chloe is one of the most discreet vibrators out there: on first glance it looks rather like a black designer remote control, with a hot pink band in the middle which is enough to make it girly without falling into the pit of ridiculous like so many other toy box offerings.

Slightly confusing at first, even for a geek, the Chloe will have you spending a little time on the user manual to work it out. It comes armed with two motors, one at the base and one at the tip, five variable settings, a built-in remote and a charger.

It’s geeky enough, does its job splendidly and it’s very stylish. All-in-all, a justified (if a little hefty) price tag at £59.00 and a sex toy that won’t embarrass you if left out in the open.

Buy it from Pleasure to Me.

More Sex Toys on Dork Adore

C’mon now, you didn’t think we’d get through February without at least one Valentine’s Day post, did you? I know it’s all a scam thought up by Hallmark to get us all spending money, but well….it’s all a bit of fun really.

Floundering for ideas for the dork you desire? We’ve come up with a few suggestions,

For the cosy couple

Since Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday this year and Sunday is the day for loafing about, I can’t resist suggesting the Double Slanket, (Firebox.com, £49.95). The big brother of the classic Slanket, it’ll make life a little easier for the newlyweds joined at the hip.

For the old romantic

For a modern take on a classic love token, consider the USB Mix Tape by Suck UK from Prezzybox.com (£9.95)

The USB Mix Tape allows you to create an hour long playlist of ‘your songs’, load them onto a USB stick and store them in the retro cassette case with your special message on the cover. There are six styles of cassettes available.

For the computer geek

This red love heart shaped USB PC optical mouse is from Amazon (£9.49) and will happily compliment the laptop accessories of your favourite computer geek. Sure, it’s cheesy, but isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?

For the music fan

Everyone loves iPods,but now you can take it to the next level and get your very own personal (and possibly embarrassing) message engraved into the back.

Engraving is free, so all you need to do is order your iPod from the Apple website.

Prices for the video iPod start at around £118.

For the Folksy fan

Folksy has some wonderful and thoughtful gifts this year for the cash-strapped. These love tokens on the right are only £1.50 for five, and you can customise them with your message. Give them one for 3 hours of uninterrupted PS3 time, a massage or a Star Wars marathon.

See this chic looking intimate massager on the right? It’s created by the people behind The Chippendales.

You know, those thong wearing, baby oil drenched ‘hunks’ who strip for millions of adoring women.

I’ll admit, my initial thoughts when I heard about this product was that it would reflect the dance troops style, i.e. cheap and cheerful.

Instead, The Chippendales Diva sits at the high quality end of the scale, boasting eight stimulations and two programs. Taking a tip from Apple, it’s available in classic black or white, and comes in a silk storage pouch.

Overall it’s a sleek, couple friendly and inconspicuous product.

You can buy the Chippendales Diva from lovefunplay.com from the 1st February for £59.

You can keep your Marvin Gaye, Westlife and Whitney Houston love songs. This Valentine’s Day, I only want to be serenaded with one romantic jingle.

The Mario Kart Love Song

The song is a YouTube sensation, written by a gaming fan who incorporates his love for Mario Kart with the object of his desire.

Lyrics like “I’ll pause this game, so our love will never end” and “no one will touch us, if we pick up a star” bring a smile to the face of even the most hardened anti-romantic.