In 1998, television introduced us to a far more glamorous world than we’d known. Into our lives waltzed curly-haired no-nonsense sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw, accompanied by three friends, a gaggle of men and a designer shoe collection to rival that of Imelda Marcos.

Can you believe that was 15 years ago? Blimey, that makes me feel old and I’m 22!

Last week marked 15 years since the now-legendary pilot episode aired, and I figured it time to pay homage to five great moments from the series’ history. They may not be your favourite moments, but I’d love it if you shared yours in the comments.

Put on your Manolos, darling. Let’s go.

How To Be Creative On A First Date

Some people are lovely and old-fashioned. They take you out for dinner and a film. Perhaps a coffee and a chat. Aleksandr Petrovsky is of a different kind of mindset. When he calls up Carrie and invites her to a restaurant called Russian Samovar at 1 in the morning, you pretty much know that this dude is of an entirely different class than the Mr. Bigs of this world. They then end up at the art gallery where they met earlier in the episode, to test Carrie’s theory about the resident performance artist (who is seated on a raised platform, with knives acting as stairs).

Petrovsky represented another era of wooing. A fifty-something artist with a splash of old-world romantic about him, Carrie found herself at once fascinated and a bit icked out by his relentless pursuit of her. Sure, he turned out to be a bit of a twat in the end, but I still can’t really understand why Carrie was so irked by the fact that he had gone through the trouble of composing a song for her.

And she still ended up with Mr. Big. Ugh.

(Fun fact – Russian Samovar was co-founded by Mikhail Baryshnikov, the ballet dancer and actor who plays Mr. Petrovsky.)

Rain

By season two, Miranda is established as a bit of a cynic when it comes to love and relationships. So when she meets bartender Steve Brady, she dismisses him as just a one-night-stand. The problem with Steve Brady however is that he has no intention to be just that. He makes his romantic intentions clear to Miranda, but she stubbornly persists, refusing to believe in cliché happy endings. When she makes fun of him in front of her friends, who have gathered to meet Mr. Big at a bar, he storms out.

It appears that Big isn’t planning on showing up, leading Miranda to draw conclusions about love that are soon completely shattered by the surprise of Mr. Big actually showing up. She runs out of the bar, chasing Steve down the road. “Steve! Maybe I can believe in love.” she says (or something to that liking) before they have what is possibly the sexiest kiss ever in the middle of a rain storm.

And that’s exactly why I included this moment. Not only is it incredibly sexy, it affirms that Steve, kooky as he is, might just have figured out the key to Miranda’s heart. And when she finally tells him that she loves him, much much later, it feels like a massive relief.

Samantha Grows Up

At the start of season six, Samantha and her friends are at a restaurant called RAW, which… yeah, serves raw food. Sam however, cares not for healthy options when she catches sight of waiter Jerry. As does every other red-blooded woman in the restaurant. She successfully seduces him and they start sleeping together. Samantha agrees to help Jerry with his struggling acting career, pumping all her PR gravitas into a small Off-Broadway production he’s starring in. When she realises that Jerry (or Smith, as she re-names him) is actually not half bad at this acting lark, she promises to make him into a star.

Smith becomes the toast of the town, getting invited to a Teen Choice Awards party. Samantha is reluctant to accompany him, feeling a bit uncomfortable with Smith’s youth. But she instantly changes her mind when she sees who’s organising this party : Richard Wright, the man who stomped all over her heart. At the party, she abandons Smith for Richard, telling him that they should keep to playing with their own friends. But in the midst of her tryst with Richard, she realises that she’s made a huge mistake. Broken, she staggers out of the lift and is surprised to see that Smith is waiting for her. Grateful for his loyalty, she lets Smith take her home.

Smith might actually be the ideal man. Sticking with her throughout her cancer, even shaving his hair in solidarity, he brings out a side in Samantha that has been hidden for too long.

How Deep Is Your Love?

Charlotte. We’re all rooting for her, aren’t we? The poster child for relentless romantic optimism, despite love stomping all over her on regular occasions, not in the least in the form of Trey McDougal, her first husband. It’s all the more hilarious and fitting that she eventually becomes wildly attracted to his polar opposite, her divorce lawyer Harry Goldenblatt. Although he’s not perfect, kind of sweaty and really hairy, she openly admits to him being the best sex she’s ever had. He’s also clever, ridiculously funny and kind to her. They become involved and Charlotte even goes as far as converting to Judaism for him. But after a fight in which Charlotte pressures him to set a wedding date and accidentally insults him, they break up.

A slur of horrid blind dates follow, and Charlotte eventually gets the pity of the Jewish mothers in her church. She’s invited to a Jewish singles mixer, where she meets even more terrible bachelors. But then, like the light at the end of a long and dark tunnel, she spots a man who looks suspiciously like Harry. It, of course, is Harry, and she wastes no time in telling him how much she loves him. Touched, he proposes on the spot.

The perfect happy ending for her, and a lovely way to round off this list.

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]]> http://www.dorkadore.com/columns-opinion/4-amazing-sex-and-the-city-moments/feed/ 0 http://www.dorkadore.com/film-tv/fear-is-a-choice-after-earth-dork-review/ http://www.dorkadore.com/film-tv/fear-is-a-choice-after-earth-dork-review/#comments Mon, 10 Jun 2013 14:34:25 +0000 Jillian Boyd http://www.dorkadore.com/?p=16123

 

Hollywood has gone Apocalypse-mad, it seems. After Tom Cruise-starring Oblivion and before the quadruple whammy of World War Z, This Is The End, The World’s End (which is British, but still) and Pacific Rim comes this father/son two-hander by the Messrs. Will and Jaden Smith. Oh, and it’s directed by M. Night Shyamalan, but not that this is of any importance in this one.

Welcome to Earth, but not as we know it.

The Details

Title : After Earth

Directed by : M. Night Shyamalan (Signs, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, etc.)

Starring : Will Smith, Jaden Smith, Sophie Okonedo.

Run time : 100 minutes

Certificate : 12A

 

The Story

In another case of Honey-We-Ruined-The-Earth-Again, an environmental cataclysm forces the entire human race to abandon Earth and venture beyond the Solar System to look for a new home. They eventually settle on a lovely planet called Nova Prime.

One thousand years later (because if you thought that’s where the film ended, you’re not in luck) the commander of a peacekeeping organisation called The Ranger Core, Cypher Raige (Smith Sr.), comes home after a mission to find that his son Kitai (Smith Jr.) has not passed his Ranger exam. He is naturally disappointed and doesn’t really try to hide it.

It transpires that Kitai blames himself for the death of his older sister Senshi, at the hands of a large predator called an “Ursa”. Ursas hunt out people by “sensing” their fear. Cypher has learned how to completely suppress his fear, a technique known as “ghosting”, thus he was able to lead the Rangers to victory against the Ursas.

As a bit of a bonding exercise, Kitai’s mother Faia convinces Cypher to let his son tag along on his last mission before his retirement. His nibs reluctantly agrees and takes Kitai with him on the ship.

And then things go a bit wrong.

As the only two survivors of a massive crash, Kitai and Cypher wake up on what is revealed to be Earth-after-the-Apocalypse, a place where everything has evolved to horribly kill you upon sight. With Cypher seriously wounded, it is left to Kitai to retrieve the only working distress signal from the tail of the ship, which is 100 kilometres away from their current location.

 

The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghosting

The first three minutes of After Earth are a lot to take in. You’re basically thrown into the story, without a life jacket but with Jaden on hand to ram a heck of a lot of exposition in your face. It is loud, it is fast, it is so blatantly not an M. Night Shyamalan film. Oh no, this is very much the Will and Jaden show. Based on an idea Will and his brother-in-law Caleeb had after watching an episode of the (rather excellent) show I Shouldn’t Be Alive. Produced by Will, Caleeb and his wife Jada. Starring Will and his son Jaden.

It’s a lot of Smith, that’s what I’m saying.

The idea of a father and son being marooned in a desolate location is a solid one. Even the idea of that location being in the future is one that can be played with to an extent. And sure, there are good ideas going on in this film, like the concept of ghosting and Cypher’s belief-system (telling Kitai that danger is real and fear is a choice). But it is what it is : a 100 minute long introduction to Jaden Smith, obviously being primed to succeed his father in the Legend of Hollywood ranks. And whether that’s a good thing remains to be seen…

I enjoyed it, but that was after making the decision to completely ignore the subtext and just let myself be taken along for the ride. The visuals are amazing, there are (possibly unintentionally) funny moments and there is much joy to be had from the idea that nature persists, even though humans are gone.

Go and see it if you…

Like awesome visuals and are game for an evening of not taking it too seriously.

Avoid if…

You think Will Smith has gone a bit power-mad.

 

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]]> http://www.dorkadore.com/film-tv/fear-is-a-choice-after-earth-dork-review/feed/ 0 http://www.dorkadore.com/columns-opinion/3-strangely-addictive-tlc-shows/ http://www.dorkadore.com/columns-opinion/3-strangely-addictive-tlc-shows/#comments Sun, 09 Jun 2013 08:00:13 +0000 Jillian Boyd http://www.dorkadore.com/?p=16105

If you’ve been living under a rock for the past month or so, then you may have actually bypassed it. But for those who tend to listlessly surf the channels at any given time of day…. well, I’m betting you just may have chanced upon TLC, the UK’s new television channel. It’s… something else, that’s for sure.

Many people have slated the channel for the choice of programming, and, to be fair, would your first choice of viewing on a night in be something like Long Island Medium? Or My Strange Addiction?

But you can’t help it, can you? You get sucked in and before you know it, you’re on hour four of watching Cake Boss and suddenly craving a massive Optimus Prime-shaped vanilla sponge.

While the following three shows are certainly not the best shows on television, they do keep you watching….

 

 

Cake Boss

As Stuart Heritage said in his article for The Guardian, Cake Boss is on a par with Man V. Food in the on-all-the-time-food-based-shows. And, as with Man V. Food… it’s kinda awesome. The show follows the day to day operations of family-owned Carlo’s Bakery, and the siblings who run the place, led by Buddy Valastro (the Cake Boss of the title).

It is what it is. It’s people making cakes and driving them to places. But oh my God, is it ever addictive. Buddy is an amazing slice of personality, an Italian-American pastry wizard who is such a legend in Hoboken (where the bakery is situated) that he got an honourable mention in The Hudson Reporter’s list of the 50 most influential people in Hudson County.

Oh, and did I mention he makes awesome cakes?

Check out the Carlo’s Bakery website for all the good stuff.

 

More about Cake Boss on Wikipedia.

Extreme Couponing

Okay, it’s not exactly as highbrow as… say, Have I Got News For You. But as with Cake Boss, it sucks you in and makes you wonder just how much you could be saving on your weekly shop. The premise is incredibly simple. The show revolves around normal American people who have taken up the practise of “extreme couponing”. This is an activity that combines shopping skills with couponing in an attempt to save as much money as possible while at the same time getting a ridiculous amount of groceries.

It sounds incredibly bonkers, but you can’t help admiring these people’s dedication. From spending 36 hours a week clipping coupons with the family to having your customers tip you in coupons, they have it sussed. And let’s face it, if you can actually manage to get 900 dollars worth of groceries and only pay 3 dollars for them, you’ve pretty much worked out the secret to shopping in these dire times.

Or is that just me talking crazy?

 

More about Extreme Couponing on Wikipedia.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

Wait! Don’t run!

Okay. You may strongly disagree with me picking this show as one to watch. You may want to shout expletives at me. But hear me out. Despite all its flaws (and there are many) it keeps you watching. Sure, you find yourself cringing as Alana (nicknamed Honey Boo Boo) and her family play a rousing game of…. well… “Guess Whose Breath”. And sure, you don’t exactly think “sketti” (basically ketchup and butter heated up in the microwave and poured over a lot of pasta) is the height of culinary standards. But…

Well, you just got to love them a little bit. From Alana’s determination to win the beauty pageants she competes in, to her absolutely lovely attitude towards her gay uncle (“Ain’t nothing wrong with being a little gay!”) to the family getting pleasure from the simple delights in life. It’s just nice. It’s a nice show.

And you’ve got to admit… Alana’s somewhat cute. Isn’t she?

(Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch four hours of Charlie Brooker on YouTube.)

 

More about Honey Boo Boo on Wikipedia.

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]]> http://www.dorkadore.com/columns-opinion/3-strangely-addictive-tlc-shows/feed/ 0 http://www.dorkadore.com/geekcraft/bunny-babies-crochet-bunny-hat-and-diaper-pattern/ http://www.dorkadore.com/geekcraft/bunny-babies-crochet-bunny-hat-and-diaper-pattern/#comments Fri, 07 Jun 2013 08:00:41 +0000 Jessica http://www.dorkadore.com/?p=15989

Check out this beautiful  Bunny hat and diaper cover crochet pattern for newborns by A Lone Pine Designs on Etsy.

This adorable pattern is available as an instant PDF download. It suits babies from 0-3 months old, and costs £3.99.

You will need a J10/6mm crochet hook and bulky weight yarn to make the pattern. Detailed instructions and photographs are provided, so all you need to do is get started!

A Lone Pine Designs also offer several other cute-as-can-be  newborn patterns, including the Bear hat and diaper cover set at £3.99, Valentine heart hat and Feelin’ Lucky Shamrock hat, both at £3.33.

Whilst they appear seasonal, they’re cute enough to make and wear any time of the year, and would make lovely photo props. Very Anne Geddes; very cute and coo-worthy!

 

Visit A Lone Pine Designs on Etsy now to get your pattern and start crocheting!

http://www.dorkadore.com/?p=16094 It’s been a strange day on the internet, as the UK Game of Thrones watching community coped in various ways with spoilers leaking out of America. Some embraced them to avoid trauma, others ran screaming through Twitter, ducking and diving as if under heavy machine gunfire.

But regardless: it’s aired on Sky Atlantic now, the illegal downloading community has gotten home from work and watched it with dinner, and I think I’m good to talk about it. This is the ninth episode of the season, where the big events in this show generally happen, and indeed they do. Spoilers follow.

I’m Glad I Slashed The Wedding, It’s Better Than Regretting…

Tyrion’s somewhat awkward nuptials last week don’t seem so bad now, do they?

Robb Stark, honourably stupid to a fault, attended a wedding thrown by a creepy man he slighted, and then acted surprised when that guy slaughtered the King O’The North himself, along with his soldiers, wolf, wife and mum. Whoops. Joking aside, this was a harrowing sequence for sheer gore and visceral unpleasantness. It served the twin purposes of reminding us that life in Game of Thrones is nasty, brutal and short, and trimming away some characters who had perhaps run their course.

Yes, Robb and Catelyn were noble and seeing them die was brutal, but I can’t say I’m weeping at the prospect of no more scenes with them either. And in the meantime, Richard Madden and Michelle Fairley played their exit for every inch of horror they could. Excellent season finale work, team – you cleared the decks and made me feel miserably beaten down for half an hour.

The Roose Bolton character may not have been set up enough for his part here to have real impact for people who haven’t read the books or paid very close attention to the show (Psst – he’s the bald one who said that thing about Lannisters sending regards, then killed Robb), but it was only a small aside, and I think we got the main point: everyone’s fucking dead.

Jon Snow Also Knows Nothing About Espionage

Even better, quite a lot happened as well as the wedding massacre – Daenerys sacked a city, and her new insufferable man-toy failed to die in the process! Dammit! Quite enjoyed those scenes simply for the sense of action, and swashbuckling glee.

Even more unusually, the disparate Stark kids nearly met each other. Arya almost got to Robb, and Bran saw Jon through a wolf. That alone was cool, although Bran and Jon’s storylines were both pretty good by themselves too – can’t say I’m sorry the Mackenzie Crook character is dead. Jon, though, has to be the worst double agent in the world – he wanders around behind the wildlings, convincing almost no-one, then snaps at the first sight of violence. Good work, kid.

In short, another traumatic ninth week in Game of Thrones – a big massacre and smaller acts of violence elsewhere. Next week, I imagine, everyone will stand around going “Holy crap, did you see the last episode?” – it’ll probably be a lot like Twitter. Or maybe they’ll change their pattern and have another huge development in episode ten to really mess us up, let’s wait and see.

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]]> http://www.dorkadore.com/film-tv/death-of-a-party-game-of-thrones-s3e9-dork-review/feed/ 0 http://www.dorkadore.com/film-tv/matt-smith-leaves-doctor-who-are-we-angry-who-should-replace-him/ http://www.dorkadore.com/film-tv/matt-smith-leaves-doctor-who-are-we-angry-who-should-replace-him/#comments Sun, 02 Jun 2013 11:34:30 +0000 Nick Bryan http://www.dorkadore.com/?p=16089 People had been whispering about a potential change-of-Time-Lord at Doctor Who for a while, so after rumours of an “upcoming big announcement” hit the internet last night, it wasn’t a huge surprise when it turned out to be Matt Smith leaving the show. Our floppy-haired hero will appear in November’s 50th anniversary special, then leave forever in the Christmas episode.

Another miserable festive season thanks to Doctor Who, then. Was David Tennant’s March Towards Tragedy 2009 not tear-jerking enough for them? Apparently not – so, what do we think of all this?

Do We Hate Him For Leaving?

No, not really. Matt Smith has done almost the same number of episodes as predecessor Tennant (three full series and a handful of specials), and a TV show stiny of roughly three years seems to be about standard for a British Actor nowadays. It’s still a shame from a quality standpoint, though; he’s been great in the part, full of quirk and charisma – even in the weaker stories, Smith’s performance was rarely the problem.

It is also kinda sad that his final series was also the most middling and inconsistent – nonetheless, hopefully his farewell in these last two specials will be amazing and that’ll be what we can all remember.

Most recent episode The Name of the Doctor was good fun, as was 2012 Christmas effort The Snowmen, so Moffat can still deliver. Let’s see it.

Who Do We Want For Doctor Twelve?

And with Smith’s exit, we get the casting speculation for a new Doctor. Hopes are being espoused on Twitter for the first non-male and/or non-white Doctor – if they can find the right actor, I’d be up for that. The long-rumoured Paterson Joseph would be cool; people keep mentioning Olivia Colman and she’s always great, if she’s up for sci-fi; Zawe Ashton has come up a few times, and her Fresh Meat character did have Doctor-esque qualities.

But by the same token, I’d also be happy with someone from the usual demo if that’s the way it goes. Damian Molony from Being Human has got the quirky/dramatic/comic charisma to pull it off, I feel. Harry Lloyd (aka Viserys from Game of Thrones) could be good too – yes, he already played a villain in a series 3 two-parter but these things can be written around/ignored.

In short, casting is one big thing Moffat has consistently gotten right over the years, in both Who and Sherlock – series seven of Doctor Who had its problems, but Jenna-Louise Coleman wasn’t one of them – so I’m pretty much happy to see where he takes us.

But for now, our main focus is waving off Matt Smith. Looking forward to seeing how they finish his story. Do you hate him for leaving? Who do you want as the next Time Lord?

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