This thing just looks *wrong* to me. Like a water wheel, but with rubbery pink tongue things where the wooden paddles should be.

And that’s pretty much what it is.

Put the Sqweel Oral Sex Simulator (patent pending, no less) near your nether regions and you’ll be sitting on a “revolution in orgasms”. Top marks for the punnage from LoveHoney there.

They’re clearly quite pleased with it (though I imagine the LoveHoney staff are always pretty cheerful what with all those guaranteed orgasms lying around the office), which is why they’re offering it at a special launch price for a limited time only.

Sqweel, £34.99 from LoveHoney