I’ll admit that I failed to watch last week’s episode of Being Human. Life, and my recent addiction to BBC4′s The Killing, took precedence. Big mistake. Tuning in on Sunday evening I was caught in a traffic jam of surprises: Mitchell was in the clink, Nina was as good as dead and Herrick was back in his yellow tabard, protecting and serving as if no time had passed since his sinister days in the Avon and Somerset Constabulary.

What on earth was going on? In order to make sense of this, I had no option but to postpone my bedtime and watch both episodes back to back, a double bill which resulted in my Year 8 class being greeted this morning by an even more befuddled music teacher than usual, blearily struggling to remember the words to Hava Nagila.

The Final Act

Now that we’re all up to speed, I should probably pick over the events of The Wolf-Shaped Bullet. In more or less chronological order: Herrick broke Mitchell out of jail; Nina quickly recovered and Annie disappeared into purgatory, summoned by a singing cadaver. It would have been bad form to relocate Being Human to Wales without somebody spontaneously breaking into song.

From there she watched helplessly as George and Mitchell were imprisoned by Herrick inside the familiar ‘dogfighting’ cage, making its third appearance this series. You would have thought that werewolves might have learnt to carry wire cutters around with them by now.

In an Anakin Skywalker-like rite of passage to the dark side, Mitchell was then instructed to kill George, except that this time, instead of using light sabres, they were using a blunt chair leg. Perhaps supernaturals should carry some kind of whittling tool as well. However, in the nick of time they were sprung by Tom, McNair’s son, who upon realising that he was only a minor character, suddenly vanished.

More happened: Mitchell murdered Herrick, Annie discovered that the ‘wolf-shaped bullet’ was a load of bunk, a chap called Wyndham backlogged the civil courts with employment tribunals by sacking the entire South Wales police force, and George, inevitably, did the decent thing and impaled Mitchell on a much sharper looking stick, but not before sobbing, ‘I’m doing this because I love you!’

Typical of George to act bravely in such a feeble manner.

Epilogue

Although boasting some compelling stand offs, this season finale delivered few bombshells, and little tension – the miserable Mitchell’s tortured number has been up for a considerable length of time.

Furthermore, throughout the series, whilst Mitchell has been furiously composing his own epitaph, it’s been patently obvious that nothing untoward would happen to our other three protagonists, much as the producers wanted us to fear for their safety. Annie, for starters, is already dead; Nina is pregnant and unlikely to be killed off (post Ronnie Branning, the BBC will be staying off infant death for a while), and George has been sidelined so efficiently in recent weeks that nobody would notice that he wasn’t there.

However, signs of life were evident in George’s parting shot to the creepy Wyndham – ‘I think you’ve got quite a fight on your hands.’ he admonished. Let’s hope he keeps his word.

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Over the past year there have been some excellent new comedy series on the BBC. First there was the gentle Rev, then Alan Davies’ boisterous Whites, and more recently, Episodes. I’m just on iPlayer, flicking through them now.

What’s this programme at the top of the comedy listings, positioned just above Cool Runnings? Yes, Being Human, it’s called. That’s bound to be funny – look, they’re even pulling wacky, contorted faces in the picture! (see above).

Must be some improvisational thing. Maybe that new one with Hugh Dennis.

My friend Olly clicked on to Being Human — The Longest Day through iPlayer Comedy the other day, in search of a bit of a post work pick-me up. “It was distressing.” he told me.

Frankly, I sympathise. It would be like stumbling across Snog Marry Avoid? while looking for a wildlife documentary. This was by far the most harrowing instalment of the houseshare horror since it started back in 2008.

From Here To Insanity

The story to The Longest Day focused on a revived, deranged Herrick – a very bad man, and furthermore a vampire – who had appeared without warning in the psychiatric ward of Barry hospital.

Although familiar to our protagonists, Herrick was suffering from amnesia (a plot device so old it’s lost its own memory), and was visibly traumatised by the efforts of his old flame, Cara, to reinitiate him as a vampire. Whether conscious of his past or not, Herrick was still something of a meanie – ‘You’re nothing.’ he told Cara with a cold rationality, before cutting right to the bone with, ‘You look ugly when you cry’.

She subsequently forced a stake through her heart, hilariously. I think that may have been where Olly switched off.

It would be churlish to pick holes in the story of a a werewolf, vampire and ghost attempting to adopt a vicious, reincarnated, amnesiac vampire through social services. So I won’t do that. But there were clear contrivances by the writers to exaggerate the tension between the characters, thereby eliciting big, stagey performances from the leads, and sweary showdowns between Mitchell and just about every other cast member.

Even so, the performances were as assured as ever, especially Sinead Keenan as Nina.

The mood and look of The Longest Day were also impressively bleak, and the recasting of chief baddie from Herrick to Mitchell was skilfully handled. Spooks‘ Nicola Walker tried her best to raise a smile as Wendy the hapless social worker, but her material was creaky and her presence in the story, like Wendy herself, soon began to grate.

Battle of Barry

It’s unlikely that there will be many more laughs next week, judging by the trailer, which suggests that the producers will attempt to wring every last drop of tension out of Herrick’s arrival and Mitchell’s impending comeuppance.

This is a shame since, misfiled as it is, Being Human usually does comedy extremely well, finding humour in the most tragic and horrifying circumstances. Just don’t expect to see repeats of it on Dave.

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Do you remember The Sixth Sense? I’ll never forget the indignity I suffered at the final dénouement, as it transpired, shockingly, that Bruce Willis had spent the entire film with a gunshot wound the size of a teacup in his lower back. I had been too engrossed (or dim) to spot the silent treatment he’d received from everybody he met, the fact that his wife had thrown out all her non-black clothes, and that even the Reader’s Digest had stopped sending him Prize Draw invitations.

Plainly put, he was dead, and neither Brucie nor I had known it.

Funny Face

But what if the dead just didn’t get it? This was the premise of Episode 3 of Being Human, which saw Annie the ghost collect another wandering soul, a ‘Type 4‘ (or ‘Zombie’ to the uninitiated) called Sasha. Sasha was a Welsh WAG, the belle of rugby league player, who enjoyed nothing more than a night out and a good fight at the end of it. Zombification (post car accident) had done her few favours; recent consequences included hideous disfigurement, torture and being impaled on her boyfriend’s Man of the Match trophy.

Still, Sasha didn’t understand that she was dead. At one point I wondered whether the writer was building up to some kind of social commentary. ‘Don’t be dead-ist!’, Annie chastised an unsympathetic Mitchell. Yet it soon emerged that conversely Sasha, as she came to terms with her death,  could teach us a little something about living. ‘Seize the day!’ she quoted to Annie, as she eventually departed for the great beyond.

It’s nice to know that WAGS have a working knowledge of the Classics. She even extolled the virtues of having children to a pregnant Nina, who after a recent full moon fling with George had been anxiously weighing up whether to bring up a were-child.

Annie, Get Your Guy!

Meanwhile, Mitchell was busy fending off the advances of a psychotic fan-boy, and reflecting on the more amorous advances of his flatmate, Annie. The first dilemma was easily solved — Mitchell killed him. The latter ended more predictably with Mitchell, having initially expressed concern, mainly as to whether one could actually perform coitus with a ghost, soon engaged in a lengthy and passionate snog with the spectral Annie. Hopefully this put his fears aside. After all, vampires, for all their inner torment, can be quite uncomplicated creatures.

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Viewers of last week’s Being Human will be well aware that our four leads — Mitchell the vampire, Annie the ghost and werewolf couple George and Nina — were forced to leave Bristol after Mitchell issued a chilling complaint to South West Trains by savagely murdering a carriage-load of commuters on the 8.15 to Taunton.

Unsurprisingly, this attracted unwanted attention from the Avon and Somerset Constabulary, so our quartet decamped to the middle of nowhere, or South Wales, as it is better known, in a vain attempt to keep their collective nose out of trouble.

I say in vain, because it wasn’t long before a little local colour livened up our protagonists’ drab routine.

New Blood

This week opened with a startled Nina discovering plucky teenage vampire Adam — a welcome antidote to the feebly sensitive demons of the Twilight series — picking over his father’s bones in the local hospital. Rather than moping around looking like a lovestruck mime artist, Adam was a real adolescent, with the hormones and puerile humour to prove it. Nina and George swiftly adopted him.

Next came a visit from Richard, an affable businessman vampire who offered not only to take the orphaned Adam in, but also to transport Mitchell to South America on a container ship full of luxury carpets. Now, I’m no economist but isn’t Wales a very long way from Puerto Rico? Couldn’t you just get your carpets from, say, the U.S.?

Needless to say, Richard’s kindness was nothing but a warm front and he was soon revealed, like many fictional Welshmen, to be a sexual deviant of the highest order. After introducing his human pet, Number 7, he proceeded to orgy like it was 1973, before forcibly inviting his young ward to enjoy the energetic delights of his equally mad wife, Emma (played by Gavin and Stacey‘s Melanie Walters).

This was a wake-up call for Adam, who learnt at once that sex, in the wrong hands, could be very frightening indeed, and upon escaping promptly assumed a far more chaste and mature approach to life. Much like the vampires in Twilight.

At any rate, his rather touching transformation made George and Nina excessively proud, and by the end of the story he had even softened up crotchety old Mitchell.

Pumping on the Stereotype

This was a highly enjoyable episode, far lighter, less gory and more thoughtful than last week’s foray into purgatory, in what promises to be another excellent and compelling series. The only questionable note was its rather clichéd view of the Welsh. I mean, was it chance that the first episode set in The Land of Our Fathers was also the first to feature a masochist in a gimp suit? And with Doctor Who and Torchwood already stationed in Cardiff, can’t we have some, I don’t know, Geordie vampires for a change?

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The third series of Being Human, the BBC’s #1 supernatural houseshare comedy-drama, begins. And they’ve got a cliffhanger to follow up from last year, a new setting to launch and more werewolves than a whole shop full of cheap horror DVDs.

Suddenly, the series has also started attracting a much higher calibre of guest star. Perhaps the birth of the US version has knocked it a few places up the BBC internal hierarchy.

So how was New All-Star Being Human?

World’s End Syndrome

The central quest of this episode is to resolve last year’s loose end and rescue Annie The Ghost from purgatory. As anyone who has sat through the first hour of Pirates Of The Caribbean III will tell you, the problem with these storylines is that the audience are almost certain how they will end and thus it becomes tricky to build any drama.

Pleasingly, this is a better attempt than most, as Mitchell The Vampire’s quest becomes an entirely introspective one and the writers don’t really bother talking up the possibility of failure. And considering what a bastard Mitchell became during the latter stages of last series, having him suffer guilt was probably necessary.

Elsewhere, the werewolf population shoots up. One might think this lazy, until the final revelation in Mitchell’s afterlife quest. Suddenly, having an abundance of dog-men makes total sense. Looking forward to whatever comes next.

Couch-Surfers

The extra-special guest stars I mentioned are quite conspicuous. We have Paul Kaye as a vampire, Robson Green as one of these new werewolves and recently-departed Eastenders princess Lacey Turner as Mitchell’s spirit guide. Not to mention Kai Owen (Rhys from Torchwood) as a dogging enthusiast. Obviously.

Since I’ve mentioned the Welshest dork show of all, Being Human also takes this opportunity to relocate to Wales, Barry Island to be precise. It’s a strange move, but perhaps they wanted the illusion of real change, or moving it closer to BBC Wales somehow makes production cheaper.

And it’s just nice to see the cast again, really. Despite the afterlife sequences, this episode doesn’t indulge many of Being Human’s occasional gothic tendencies and sticks to characters and comedy-drama. Hopefully more of the same in coming weeks, as I really liked this premiere, even more than I expected to.

Catch up on iPlayer and let the group know whether you were as pleased to have Being Human back as I was.

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Want to know what the Dorks want in their stocking this Christmas? Here’s a round up of what we’re hoping Santa brings us this weekend. Check out our wish list — which seems to consist mainly of TV boxsets and geek gear.

Katie

Thanks to all the positive stuff about Misfits on Dork Adore, I actually watched the second series — and LOVED it! I normally don’t watch programmes out of sequence, so this was unusual for me. To right this wrong, I’d really like series one on Blu-ray.

Emma

I’ve managed to destroy yet another pair of earphones for my iPod, so I’m after a pair of Audio Chi headphones. If Santa is feeling particularly generous, I wouldn’t mind a Power Plate machine at home.  It’s the Slendertone of the 21st century donchaknow?

Realistically though, I’d be quite happy with Kick Ass and Scott Pilgrim on DVD, and maybe a voucher for Abel & Cole so I can start the new year on a health kick.

Nick

Nowadays, the huge DVD boxsets are getting stupidly cheap, so my big Christmas presents will be a few of those. I can now get the complete run of Battlestar Galactica, Sopranos, Six Feet Under, The Wire or West Wing for around fifty quid from many online vendors, which is the price I used to pay for a single series.

Oh, and if you liked The Walking Dead TV show, the Compendium collecting the first 48 issues of the comic is good value, and isn’t printed on toilet paper or anything like that. Don’t drop it on your foot though.

Michelle

Tamsin

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Halloween. A time when children dress up as cute little pumpkins and witches, teenage girls put together a ‘costume’ that merges scary with slutty, and grown ups desperately attempt to create something that looks cool and yet effortless.

No doubt this year’s ghoulish festivities will be primarily built around the Twilight and True Blood franchises, for kids and adults. But here at Dork Adore, we’d like to suggest a few more alternative costumes.

Let’s kick off with this Cyberman costume on the right from Littlewoods (£56.40). The Doctor Who nemesis’s outfit comes complete with silver jumpsuit and mask. There’s a more expensive Cyberman costume from Jokes Around, which looks slightly less like a gimpsuit…

Geek chic

Seeing as you’re reading this on a site dedicated to everything dorky, we’re probably right to assume you like to embrace your nerdy side. So why not go the whole hog and kit yourself out in a Nerd costume?

The Nerd costume (Fancydress.com, £27.99) is a short-sleeved one-piece, with an extra- high waist, matching bow tie and pocket protector.

Wear it with big black rimmed glasses and some stick on zits for the full effect.

Goblin costume…for your dog

Isn’t half the fun of Halloween in dressing your dog up in something ridiculous? No?

Perhaps this Goblin costume will change your mind. The black harness is attached to the dog, with an angry-looking goblin perched on top, ready for battle. There’s a headless horseman and a cowboy one too if you’re warming to the pet costume idea.

£18.49 might seem like a lot for a pet costume, but I think we can all agree the dog looks damn happy about wearing it.

Mario

It’s-a-me, Mario!

Super Mario Bros is 25 this year, so why not celebrate the Italian plumbing duo’s birthday by pulling on Mario’s famous blue overalls?

The Adult Deluxe Mario Costume, which comes with a jumpsuit, inflatable belly, gloves, hat and authentic moustache, is from Allfancydress (£43.99).

If you’ve got a willing child who’s happy to be your sidekick, you could get this Toad Child Costume from Costume Express ($24.99). There’s also a Princess Peach costume for $49.99 and a Yoshi costume.

Spaghetti Cat costume

A special mention goes to this handmade meme costume of Spaghetti cat, which scares the living daylights out of me.

Imagine that arriving on your doorstep *shudder*.

What will you be dressing up as this Halloween?

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Over the course of two series, Being Human has been balancing its co-existing halves, much like the characters within. The funny flatshare soap, pitted against the gothic fantasy. Neither the show nor its leads have always succeeded in this schizo-juggling, but it’s always been captivating viewing, even if you come away bemused.

In the opening episodes of the second run, as chronicled here, it took a swing into the far reaches of its darker territory, and risked becoming a depressing experience in the process. Luckily, the writers took a chill pill, and the humour crept back in.

As the rest of the story unfolded, happily they kept one foot in their BBC Three sitcom roots. George’s ludicrous werewolf-Tourettes attacks in one episode stood out amongst the angst and gloom, but that’s exactly what’s needed to keep proceedings grounded.

(Yes, his ‘rebound’ relationship was obviously doomed, but that was made so obnoxiously clear throughout that it seems utterly pointless to even bring it up.)

Even vampire Mitchell’s darker journey was punctuated by a bizarre attempt to persuade his group of blood-hungry vampire followers to “kick the habit”, including starting a Bloodaholics Anonymous group. It’s these adult-yet-silly touches which give the show its charm.

Lurking alongside all that is the ongoing storyline, in which the heroes are investigated by a coalition of religion and science. As the middle episodes passed, the soap operatics of the cast intertwined with this increasingly omnipresent conspiracy, raising intrigue as it went.

Alas, I wasn’t as enamoured with the climactic episodes as the build-up. It may be a matter of personal preference, though, as the tone lurched back into full-on gothic misery. There are a few actions in the penultimate episode, by Mitchell in particular, which are certainly shocking, but so much so that it’s hard to imagine him actually undertaking them.

The final episode does provide the necessary drama and resolution, but the ending of the main conspiracy storyline doesn’t entirely pay off all the preceding groundwork. The two prime antagonists, who had been unusually well realised until then, get a bit lost in generic psychopathy and confused motivations.

Still, I can’t say I wasn’t hooked until the very end.  The beauty of the lighter touches in the mid-season episodes is that, even if I roll my eyes at the later brooding melodrama, I still give a damn about the characters and shed a manly tear at the sad parts.

Fundamentally, even with my petty niggles, I was always entertained. And I’ll definitely be back next year.

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When the BBC’s Being Human first stalked onto the screen, it was alarmingly unlike the average BBC Three flatshare series.

For one, it featured a vampire, a ghost and a werewolf. And those expecting “Two Pints Of Blood And A Packet Of Death” had to wait a lot longer than anticipated for the first nob joke. (Although it did come in the end.)

Instead, it demonstrated a capability for straight-faced character drama and involved fantasy, with the odd joke to keep the non-geeks involved. There were a few shaky episodes, but it ended up being a genuinely warm yet dark adult fantasy, in the vein of Angel.

With the opening episodes of its second series, Being Human has once again skipped to one side and thwarted expectations. No longer does it simply resemble Angel, it resembles… one of the more depressing seasons of Angel. The mid-run years when all the lead characters seemed doomed in their endeavours.

The events of the previous series finale do justify the supernatural housemates being a little unhappy, but this viewer did miss the light-hearted bonding moments. Happily, the second and third episodes seem to be moving back in this direction, with the sense of doom being offset by a reliable (if grim) sense of humour. If this review had been written after seeing only the first, I would have to advise hiding all sharp objects before viewing.

For other reasons as well, this episode is not the strongest in Being Human’s history. George’s dark turn is enthusiastically portrayed by Russell Tovey, but is also so emphatic that one finds it hard to believe he hasn’t been possessed, or at least hit hard on the head.

But his hesitant charm re-emerges in the next one, and it’s odd how that alone makes everything seem better. In the third week, he even plays a more convincingly written depressed version of George, hopefully underlining that the earlier attempt was a mere blip.

In fact, a scene from the third episode where the three housemates attempt to watch The Real Hustle nearly caused me to have a hysteric fit. Although none of us want to see Being Human descend into BBC Three mediocrity, scenes like that, or Annie’s ludicrous matchmaking shortly later, are as important to the health of the series as the crying and gothic slaughter.

But the supernatural uber-storylines remain present, including new villains who combine the most unsettling elements of religion and science. Meanwhile, Mitchell the vampire is thrust into the undead underworld, uncovering a degree of depravity greater even than his own use of hairstyling products.

Despite the new series starting on a shaky note, it has the potential to be another good year. [Nick Bryan]

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There’s still a smidgen of time left to order a Christmas present for that lovable dork in your life! Here’s a few suggestions from us at Dork Adore.

For the vampire fan…

Have you got someone in the family who’s as addicted to Vampire shows as we are at Dork Adore? I think I’ve found the best gift to keep them happy and quiet.

Browsing Ebay, I came across this set of True Blood books for £16.99. They’ll be able to get ahead on the story, and sit through series 2 smug in the knowledge that they already know what’s going to happen.

For the games fan…

Head over to Argos and you’ll find some great console package deals to keep everyone happy. Don’t have a Wii yet? Argos are offering a package deal for £169.99 including the Wii console, Wii Sports game and Wii Sports Resort, along with a bunch of accessories, Big Beach sports game and docking station for free.

For the music fan…

Save yourself a bit of time by nailing your Christmas food shop and present shop in one at Tesco.

They’ve got this iPod Nano, the brand new version with a built in video camera and FM radio, for just £114.97. That will give you enough change out of £150 for a set of speakers like the ones we featured in our Stocking Filler post recently.

For the craft fan…

The Make Lounge is a studio that offers workshops on everything from cupcake decorating to creating your own jewellery. They’re offering vouchers that can be printed or e-mailed to the recipient on Christmas Day.

For the shopping fan…

Pretty much every shop on the high street has some form of gift voucher. This year however, Oasis has stepped up their game with a mobile gift voucher. Simply pay online, and they’ll send your recipient the voucher over text message, which they can use in any store. You can also choose when you want the text to be sent. A great very last minute gift if there’s anyone you’ve forgotten!

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