When the BBC’s Being Human first stalked onto the screen, it was alarmingly unlike the average BBC Three flatshare series.

For one, it featured a vampire, a ghost and a werewolf. And those expecting “Two Pints Of Blood And A Packet Of Death” had to wait a lot longer than anticipated for the first nob joke. (Although it did come in the end.)

Instead, it demonstrated a capability for straight-faced character drama and involved fantasy, with the odd joke to keep the non-geeks involved. There were a few shaky episodes, but it ended up being a genuinely warm yet dark adult fantasy, in the vein of Angel.

With the opening episodes of its second series, Being Human has once again skipped to one side and thwarted expectations. No longer does it simply resemble Angel, it resembles… one of the more depressing seasons of Angel. The mid-run years when all the lead characters seemed doomed in their endeavours.

The events of the previous series finale do justify the supernatural housemates being a little unhappy, but this viewer did miss the light-hearted bonding moments. Happily, the second and third episodes seem to be moving back in this direction, with the sense of doom being offset by a reliable (if grim) sense of humour. If this review had been written after seeing only the first, I would have to advise hiding all sharp objects before viewing.

For other reasons as well, this episode is not the strongest in Being Human’s history. George’s dark turn is enthusiastically portrayed by Russell Tovey, but is also so emphatic that one finds it hard to believe he hasn’t been possessed, or at least hit hard on the head.

But his hesitant charm re-emerges in the next one, and it’s odd how that alone makes everything seem better. In the third week, he even plays a more convincingly written depressed version of George, hopefully underlining that the earlier attempt was a mere blip.

In fact, a scene from the third episode where the three housemates attempt to watch The Real Hustle nearly caused me to have a hysteric fit. Although none of us want to see Being Human descend into BBC Three mediocrity, scenes like that, or Annie’s ludicrous matchmaking shortly later, are as important to the health of the series as the crying and gothic slaughter.

But the supernatural uber-storylines remain present, including new villains who combine the most unsettling elements of religion and science. Meanwhile, Mitchell the vampire is thrust into the undead underworld, uncovering a degree of depravity greater even than his own use of hairstyling products.

Despite the new series starting on a shaky note, it has the potential to be another good year. [Nick Bryan]

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The release of Twilight: New Moon brings with it a flurry of merchandise emblazoned with the ‘Team Edward’ and ‘Team Jacob’ slogans.

I’m so Team Jacob.

Let’s be honest, the CGI is much better for the wolves, whilst Edward has to be content with a bit of a shimmer in the light.

Want to know how the wolves are created in the film? Have a look at this nifty little video.

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You can’t open Google, turn on the telly or talk to certain people called Charles at the moment without being assaulted by vampires, actors who have played vampires falling out of sub-standard nightclubs, and interviews with people who have written about vampires.

You can’t blame it on Halloween – the whole of 2009 seems to be the year of the vampire. Also, the ox, but he doesn’t seem to be getting so much publicity.

But vampires aren’t even that good . They’re fussy eaters, pretty antisocial and will never be able to partake in a summer picnic, unless it’s at night, which is rubbish.

I think we need to regain a bit of vampire perspective, and so I’ve collated the top five things that are better than vampires.

• Browser shortcuts to specific Google docs
  

These are way better than vampires: they are productivity gold in a way Bram Stoker could never comprehend. Now, I can get to my ‘huh, what an awful lot of people are yet to pay me’ spreadsheet in seconds. You can even have a ‘new document’ shortcut, which is why I’ve created 67 new documents in the last three days.

• The Motorola Droid

Last week I wrote about how much I wanted an Android phone that wasn’t ugly, but had yet to be convinced. This week, I have all my hopes pinned on Motorola (a sentence I never thought I’d be writing), as the Motorola Droid has been officially launched in the US, with rumours of it coming over here.

It runs Android 2.0, has a 5-megapixel camera and a QWERTY keyboard (not entirely sold on that one).  It’s official: cute little android characters are cooler than vampires.

• Fireworks night

On the surface, you might think fireworks and vampires go together, both requiring night as they do. But I have never seen a vampire display, and the latest vampires do not explode into awesome shapes, like lips and hearts. Fireworks do in both cases.

• Philippe Starck
  

If you did not see him in his ‘Masterchef for people that want to design knives, forks and chairs’ programme on BBC2, get thee to iPlayer.

He was the best French man I have ever seen, and should almost certainly be releasing a Christmas coaching video on how to be so awesome-ly French. You never see a French vampire, now do you? (Oh, and the programme was called Design for Life, in case the previous explanation yielded no results in the BBC’s stupid search facility. Katie wrote about the winner the show and her Kaspa Lamps here. She was also inexplicably rude about Philppe Starck.)

• Werewolves

The main reason werewolves are better than vampires comes down to your basic Mean Girls halloween conundrum. If we can make werewolves the new vampires, it can only result in Hilarious Consequences as girls try to work out how to make a Sexy Werewolf costume.

Because face it – there’s nothing sexy about a hairy wolf. There just isn’t.

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