Panning for Internet Gold: The toilet instructions edition

9,900 people on this exquisite blue planet search for ‘toilet instructions’ every month. EVERY MONTH.

And yet the Dork Adore management team have never once acknowledged my sterling contribution to their search engine visibility.

Hello, people troubled by the smallest room in the house. Scroll down and your needs will be met in succinct digital imagery. While you’re here, perhaps you might also find some animal videos amusing. Or perhaps you’re in a hurry. Anyway.

Forrest Gump. There’s one for you.

• The official Oscars poster references all 85 of the past Best Film winners. I guessed about 5 of them, because I’m an idiot.
• Did you know that every set of twins has one famous one? OMGFACTZ!
• Angela Lansbury and a koala. It doesn’t get more heart-warming than that.
• This poignant and beautiful bit of art uses tiny ice dudes to commemorate the victims of the Titanic disaster. [Insert something about melting for Leo diCaprio.]
• Better than your average BOGOF offer.
• A ring for every Avenger. Hulk’s might need to extend, though.
• Ask a silly question, Google has an answer. And Google will not forget.
• WHOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA.

A horse walks into an orchestra

Breaking news: Horse plays recorder. YouTube calls it a flute. And the world LOLs.

 Handicapable creatures

It’s a big week in disabled pet footage. This fluffy bunny has wheels to get around…

..whereas Caffrey the cat hops on his good side.

This miniature pony needs splints for his teeeeensy legs.

But then we head under water. Meet the turtle with artificial flippers…

..and unbelievably, the fish in a sling. A FISH IN A SLING. *Heart breaks, emotions spill everywhere*

‘A snack? For me? Why you are AWFULLY kind!’

• I’ve watched this fifteen times in a row and still can’t imagine getting bored. WHERE IS MY ANGELIC SUGAR GLIDER BRING IT TO ME
• Cute kid becomes best mate with similarly-sized dog and mother Instagrams the bejayzuz out of the resulting cuteness.
• Bat orphans compete with Sugar Glider for my heart.
• Wait, so do baby owls.
• OH GOD SAVE ME MY HEART IS PURÉE

RateMyCatHug.biz

I’ll leave you with a top 20 of cat hugs. Yes, the 20 superlative feline embraces. My pleasure.

Helen Brown

Reader of blogs. Collector of cute. Sufferer of Middlesbrough Football Club.

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