But never fear, it isn’t rudeness or aggression, just a genuine question about what you would like to have stitched onto cards, canvas or ‘c*nting’.
Crass Stitch Crafts is a small Mancunian start-up combining a love of traditional arts and crafts with potty-mouthed coarseness. Producing a wide selection of cards and ‘swearware’ (including a range of f*cking jams and chutneys), Crass Stitch Crafts believes that a touch of swearing or sarcasm can lighten any situation.
Colleague leaving work? Perfect card: F*CK OFF THEN. Friend getting married (and not letting you forget, ever)? BRIDE F*CKING ZILLA. Birthday coming up? SPOILT LITTLE SHIT or even the simple HAPPY F*CKING BIRTHDAY.
Although Crass Stitch Crafts insists that ‘clean on request’ is possible, the real fun is definitely in the combination of twee and tawdry. A recent commission for Manchester burger bar Almost Famous saw a 5ft X 4ft canvas, sprawled with the neatly stitched words, MEAT SLUT MEAT WHORE.
With mugs and coasters and homeware in the running, it seems that sugar sweet shabby chic will be getting f*cked once and for all.
After all, why wouldn’t you want some F*CKSHITTITS bunting?
Find out about new designs by following on Twitter at @crass_stitch or emailing firstname.lastname@example.org to sign up for the Crass Stitch newsletter.
To see the MEAT SLUT MEAT WHORE canvas, visit Almost Famous, 100 High Street, Manchester.