Tragedy struck this evening when my Pzizz for iPhone went all wobbly and crashed.
I was quite looking forward to my Pzizz nap (THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOOK FORWARD TO THINGS). I took today as leave so, for the first time in weeks, I had the requisite eight hours’ sleep, caught up with friends, and mooched round the shops in such a mellow mood that even H&M’s inexplicable fondness for mesh neon jumpers and taffeta tulip skirts couldn’t enrage me. Dreamily I moseyed home in the late afternoon sunshine, and decided that conditions were perfect to visit the land of subliminal sci-fi brain reprogrammage (shut up; it is so a word).
I plugged in, set the Pzizz settings for 20 minutes, and lay back. BONGGGG, went the music. Then the nice man with the gentle voice started speaking. “Now that you have taken this time to relax,” he said. “Now that you’ve taken this time to relax,” he repeated, adding, “Nip, zub, pnk, shp” as an afterthought.
Then it all went quiet.
Then the music went WOoooooOOOOOWoooooOOOOWooooOOW from ear to ear.
Then everything went shhp.
And it all went quiet again.
I sat up and jabbed at my iPhone but the screen was frozen and unresponsive for several minutes. Then the app closed itself, then closed itself when I opened it again. So I restarted my iPhone (this is a thrilling tale, isn’t it?) but even that didn’t solve things. So I deleted the app and went to reinstall it but had no signal and spent about 10 minutes renewing my Wifi lease, at which point I’m afraid I swore at my phone, and at Pzizz, and (relatively inexplicably) at Derren Brown, and went downstairs.
Having your boyfriend say things like “relax all your muscles. Don’t be afraid if you fart”, “you are coming to the edge of a dark, dark forest. In the dark, dark forest is a dark, dark path. At the end of the dark, dark path is a dark, dark house. Inside the dark, dark house is a dark, dark cupboard. Within the dark, dark cupboard is a GHOST!” while you lie on the sofa with your eyes closed isn’t quite the same. Even if he makes wooshing noises. Never mind, Have I Got News for You is on.
Read all about Robyn’s fun filled week of napping highs and lows here.